Relationships & Communication, page 4
Friendship, love, family, conversation, social skills, persuasion. 171 links, newest first. Page 4 of 4.
Links 151 to 171
How to Make Small Talk People Actually Enjoy
Watch · youtube.com · 11 min · Issue #55
A 2020 Charisma on Command video offering five steps to improve small talk, drawing on techniques the video attributes to Joe Rogan's podcast conversations.
Summary
A 2020 Charisma on Command video offering five steps to improve small talk, drawing on techniques the video attributes to Joe Rogan's podcast conversations. The steps include opening with an early compliment, moving between topics with "reminds me of" thinking, pinging for shared interests, getting others excited, and listening to build connection.
Mailing a prepaid phone to executives
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #53
He loads a phone with 250 minutes and sets his number on speed dial
Summary
The speaker mailed a preprogrammed phone to executives who ignored him, and recounts how the recipients then called him.
The speaker describes sending a prepaid phone, loaded with minutes and programmed with his own number on speed dial one, to executives who ignore calls. The package includes a note asking the recipient to press that button within five minutes and is shipped with signature required. In the speaker's four attempts, the recipient called back twice, and on the other two he called them and they answered.
Key points- He loads a phone with 250 minutes and sets his number on speed dial
- He ships it by UPS or FedEx with signature required and tracks delivery
- On two of four occasions the recipient called as instructed, and he called back the others
Pushback phrases when your role grows
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #53
Ask whether the extra work comes with a review of title and compensation
Summary
When your role expands, push back with questions about pay, unrealistic timelines and training instead of accepting it silently.
The video offers ready-made phrases for workplace pushback. The lines ask whether taking on extra work comes with extra pay, whether a review of title and compensation is planned, and what thinking lies behind a timeline. Others ask for training, or offer to skip lower-priority meetings or extend a deadline.
Key points- Ask whether the extra work comes with a review of title and compensation
- Ask for a walkthrough of the timeline thinking and whether training is available
- Offer to skip lower-priority meetings or extend the deadline to free up time
Authenticity is resisting the urge to shape
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #50
For a fraction of a second your mind tells you not to be honest
Summary
Living authentically means resisting the split-second urge to shape how someone reacts before you speak honestly.
Alok Kanojia, a psychologist who works with streamers, says authenticity is decided in brief moments. For a fraction of a second the mind may suggest holding back an honest response, anticipating how the other person will react and adjusting behavior to get a particular reaction. The advice is not to give in to the impulse to shape someone else's behavior.
Key points- For a fraction of a second your mind tells you not to be honest
- Your mind adjusts behavior to create a particular reaction from the other person
- Don't give in to the impulse to shape someone else's behavior
Losses weigh far more than gains
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #49
The speaker cites a 2002 Nobel-winning theory that loss looms larger than gain
Summary
Fear of loss dominates human decisions, since losses weigh two to nine times more than equivalent gains.
Former FBI negotiator Christopher Voss says people's decisions are dominated by what they fear losing. He cites the prospect theory of Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky, which holds that losses weigh roughly two to nine times more than equivalent gains. In hostage negotiation, he looks for the loss a person has suffered, often a recent identity loss, to understand their behavior.
Key points- The speaker cites a 2002 Nobel-winning theory that loss looms larger than gain
- In hostage and crisis work, look for a recent personal loss driving behavior
- He calls loss the biggest single influence on decisions, though not the only one
Oversupply lowers the value of connections
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #48
The speaker says more supply lowers value, so people stop valuing each relationship
Summary
Dating is an economics problem: when supply is huge, nobody values a relationship, and being pursued raises your value.
Mo Gawdat compares dating to a market where oversupply lowers how much people value each connection. He describes people spending months on dates with someone who does not share a basic goal, such as wanting children. He suggests spending time where people are actively interested in you, so they pursue you and your value rises.
Key points- The speaker says more supply lowers value, so people stop valuing each relationship
- Seven months of dating can pass before you learn someone does not want children
- Go where people want you, like a Shelby Cobra club, and your price goes up
Esther Perel's conclusions on infidelity
Short · en.wikipedia.org · Issue #47
Esther Perel, whose conclusions on why people cheat are worth hearing.
Summary
Esther Perel, whose conclusions on why people cheat are worth hearing.
Analogies make offers easier to picture
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #46
Answer a price demand with a mechanic example: he needs to look under the bonnet first
Summary
Using analogies on sales calls turns your offer into a picture the prospect understands, which is more persuasive than a bare answer.
A sales professional argues that analogies are among the most effective sales techniques because people think in pictures. When a prospect pushes for a price before discovery, the speaker compares it to asking a mechanic for a repair cost, since the mechanic must inspect the car first. The comparison moves the situation into a context the prospect already accepts.
Key points- Answer a price demand with a mechanic example: he needs to look under the bonnet first
- The speaker says the human brain thinks in pictures, so put your offer into images
- Turn your own scenarios into analogies the prospect already understands
A manager's eleven baseline promises
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #45
Weekly one-on-ones are never cancelled, and every meeting states its agenda up front
Summary
A manager's eleven promises, like never cancelling one-on-ones and no surprise feedback, are baseline behaviors any good manager should show.
The speaker shares a thread in which a manager lists 11 promises to their team, including a weekly one-on-one that is never cancelled, an agenda in every invite, personal delivery of major news, and feedback that is never a surprise. The speaker says these are a low bar but describes them as the kind of manager they would want to be.
Key points- Weekly one-on-ones are never cancelled, and every meeting states its agenda up front
- Big news comes directly from the manager, and feedback is never heard for the first time in reviews
- Trust people to manage their own time and to skip-level without clearing it first
A comedic bad first date sketch
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #45
A comedic sketch of a bad first date uses lines such as admitting the profile photo was heavily edited, saying they would rather sleep than go out, and drinking to get through it.
Summary
A comedic sketch of a bad first date uses lines such as admitting the profile photo was heavily edited, saying they would rather sleep than go out, and drinking to get through it. It also mentions an ex, and ends with the speaker planning to fake a phone call to ghost the date and finish their drink.
Choose a life partner, not just love
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #42
Ask whether you are looking for a love story or a life story
Summary
The people you love are not always the people you build a life with, so look for a life partner, not just a love story.
The speaker says you can love many people, but the person you build a life with is often different. The speaker asks whether you are looking for a love story or a life story, and says a life partner is someone you go through pain, suffering, and challenges with.
Key points- Ask whether you are looking for a love story or a life story
- A life partner is someone you go through pains, sufferings and challenges with
A balanced week needs time for everyone
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #42
Spend one to two days alone, plus two nights just for yourself
Summary
A healthy week balances alone time, couple time, your own friends and shared friends, and neglecting one weakens the relationship.
The speaker describes an ideal week for a couple: one to two days alone, two date nights together, one night with your own friends, one with your partner's friends, and two with shared friends. The ratio can be adjusted, the speaker says, but a balanced week includes time alone, as a couple, with separate friends, and with shared ones.
Key points- Spend one to two days alone, plus two nights just for yourself
- Keep two nights as a couple, one night with your friends, and two with shared friends
- If you don't water yourself, you have nothing to give
Leaders earn loyalty by backing people
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #39
A VP secretly paid for two good suits, expensed a little at a time
Summary
A boss who quietly paid for good suits and backed his people earned loyalty, because power comes from the people who love you.
A speaker recalls a VP who paid for two good suits so they would look more professional, then earned a promotion for working hard for him. The VP used his power to make his team feel they mattered, pushing training, promoting people, and treating them as his people. The speaker concludes that power comes from people, and that being loved by them is a superpower.
Key points- A VP secretly paid for two good suits, expensed a little at a time
- Later the boss gave the speaker a promotion and a raise, and called his wife to tell her
- The speaker says that when people love you, that is a superpower
But Life Had Other Plans
Read · danlebrero.com · 3 min · Issue #39
Daniel Lebrero's March 2022 blog post recounts a planned year of family care that took an unexpected turn.
Summary
Daniel Lebrero's March 2022 blog post recounts a planned year of family care that took an unexpected turn. After his wife tested positive for a BRCA2 mutation, she had preventive surgery in 2021, and an embryo conceived just before it went undetected until she was about five months pregnant. The post uses dark humor to describe the complications and reflects on life's unpredictability.
Name your fear before hard talks
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #25
Tell the team you need a hard conversation and admit you fear saying the wrong thing
Summary
Start a difficult conversation by naming your own fear and saying the conversation matters more than that fear.
The speaker advises opening a difficult conversation with your team by saying you need to have it and admitting you are afraid of saying the wrong thing. Ask people to work through it with you, because the conversation matters more than the fear. The speaker adds that empathy is a leadership skill that can be taught.
Key points- Tell the team you need a hard conversation and admit you fear saying the wrong thing
- Ask the team to work through the subject with you
- The speaker says empathy and leadership skills can be taught
Three questions reveal personality and more
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #19
Players name a favorite color, animal and body of water, each with three deep reasons
Summary
A three-question game with deep reasons reveals personality, ideal partner and sexuality without players realizing it.
The speaker describes a game for new acquaintances built on three questions: favorite color, favorite animal, and favorite body of water, each with three deep reasons. Afterward, each answer is reinterpreted by crossing out the question word and writing a new one: the color answer reveals a view of your personality, the animal answer a view of your perfect mate, and the water answer a view of your sexuality.
Key points- Players name a favorite color, animal and body of water, each with three deep reasons
- Crossing out each word turns the answer into a hidden question about personality, partner or sexuality
- Players answer without knowing what they reveal, but the host does
Three Minutes to the Perfect Pitch with Brant Pinvidic
Watch · youtube.com · Issue #16
Vanessa Van Edwards of Science of People interviews Hollywood producer Brant Pinvidic, author of The 3-Minute Rule, on how to structure a pitch in about three minutes.
Summary
Vanessa Van Edwards of Science of People interviews Hollywood producer Brant Pinvidic, author of The 3-Minute Rule, on how to structure a pitch in about three minutes. The episode covers the origins of the rule, his worst pitch, and the WHAC method, which asks questions such as whether the listener is sure and whether they can act. The episode runs 29 minutes.
A brief lesson on diversity
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #16
A short TikTok lesson on diversity.
Summary
A short TikTok lesson on diversity.
40 One-Sentence Email Tips
Read · joshspector.com · Issue #14
Josh Spector lists 40 one-sentence tips for writing better emails and reducing email stress.
Summary
Josh Spector lists 40 one-sentence tips for writing better emails and reducing email stress. The core ideas are to send fewer emails, avoid instant replies, and keep messages short with a clear request. Other tips cover limiting CC and Reply All, using filters instead of labels, and creating templates for repeated messages.
Gen Z moves the progressive line further
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #12
Millennials fought for gay marriage and saw that as progressive
Summary
Millennials thought backing gay marriage made them progressive, but the speaker says Gen Z has moved the line further.
The speaker jokes that millennials thought they were progressive for fighting for gay marriage, while Gen Z goes further, saying gender is a myth, sexuality is fluid, and a couple can include up to nine people. The punchline is that the older generation now looks conservative by comparison.
Key points- Millennials fought for gay marriage and saw that as progressive
- The speaker says Gen Z now talks about gender as a myth and sexuality as fluid
- The joke closes by saying Gen Z drives a hard bargain
Seven Things to Say When a Conversation Turns Negative
Read · hbr.org · Issue #5
Kathleen Kelley Reardon, a USC professor emerita, argues that our verbal and nonverbal cues shape how others treat us, so we can steer tense conversations.
Summary
Kathleen Kelley Reardon, a USC professor emerita, argues that our verbal and nonverbal cues shape how others treat us, so we can steer tense conversations. She advises having ready replies, since people who avoid conflict often back down. The article promises seven tactics for building a set of responses and claims people are at least 75% responsible for how others treat them.
Related reading paths
- Make friends as an adult10
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