Self-Improvement, page 4
Habits, discipline, confidence, personal growth, life advice. 226 links, newest first. Page 4 of 5.
Links 151 to 200
Ask five questions before buying anything
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #113
Count storage, cleaning and upkeep as costs beyond the price tag
Summary
Ask five questions before buying anything, starting with whether you can afford it without a credit card.
The Minimalists propose five questions before a purchase: can you afford to part with the money without a credit card, can you pay the true cost including storage and upkeep, will it add value or get in the way of a hobby, what are the alternatives such as renting or borrowing, and can you get by without it for a while. They also suggest waiting before buying anything over $30.
Key points- Count storage, cleaning and upkeep as costs beyond the price tag
- Ask whether the item adds value, or could be rented, borrowed or skipped
- Use the 30/30 rule: wait 30 hours before buying anything over $30
Detail: The Difference Between Interested and Obsessed
Watch · youtube.com · 3 min · Issue #112
Alan Stein Jr.'s July 2023 video is titled 'The Difference Between Interested and Obsessed'.
Summary
Alan Stein Jr.'s July 2023 video is titled 'The Difference Between Interested and Obsessed'. The description promotes his speaking work, the Raise Your Game Show podcast and a free series of PDFs on leadership reading.
Live the life you want through small experiments
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #112
Warns against a hated job now for a beach retirement fifty years later
Summary
Live the life you want now through small experiments, rather than sacrificing decades for a retirement that may not suit you.
In a Tim Ferriss podcast excerpt about The 4-Hour Workweek, a guest says Ferriss encourages thinking about quality of life now rather than working a job one hates to retire at 50. Ferriss says effective lifestyle design is effective testing: he treats what he does not know as a set of experiments, and asks whether his current life is one he actually likes living.
Key points- Warns against a hated job now for a beach retirement fifty years later
- Says effective lifestyle design is effective testing of what you assume
- Frames constant experiments as a way to check what you think you know
Work as escape makes rest feel stressful
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #112
Quotes a friend: if busyness is your drug, rest will feel like stress
Summary
Using work as an escape makes rest feel like stress, so be honest about whether long hours are only for a season.
The speaker quotes Ian Simkins: if busyness is your drug, rest will feel like stress. Using work to fund goals, such as a house down payment, can turn into a way of avoiding other things, and the speaker urges honesty about whether work is for a season or a habit. The speaker admits being good at endless work but not yet at being married.
Key points- Quotes a friend: if busyness is your drug, rest will feel like stress
- The speaker admits he hides in endless work and struggles with marriage
- Suggests tying long hours to a set goal, such as a house down payment
Talk to Strangers. It Will Change Your Life.
Watch · youtube.com · 12 min · Issue #110
A Sprouht video from June 2022 argues that talking to strangers is a key skill for making friends and countering loneliness.
Summary
A Sprouht video from June 2022 argues that talking to strangers is a key skill for making friends and countering loneliness. It covers how not to approach strangers, the basic principles of starting a conversation and advice from strangers themselves. The sidewalk examples are filmed in Montreal.
Why Self-Care Hasn't Cured Your Burnout
Read · bustle.com · 13 min · Issue #109
Heather Havrilesky's Bustle essay argues that rest and self-care do not always cure burnout, and that burnout can reflect ambition with nowhere to go.
Summary
Heather Havrilesky's Bustle essay argues that rest and self-care do not always cure burnout, and that burnout can reflect ambition with nowhere to go. She suggests physically absorbing or even repetitive tasks can restore a sense of satisfaction, citing her own work pulling ivy in her mother's yard. The piece also says modest goals can feel unmotivating, and that a more ambitious version of a goal may help.
Simplifiers split easy work from hard thinking
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #108
Switches context between meetings on different topics without losing focus
Summary
Jeff is an exceptional simplifier who quickly separates the easy 90% of work from the hard 10% that needs senior thinking.
A colleague who worked with Jeff Bezos for 23 years says the public sees him as a lone visionary, when his key skill is simplifying. The colleague says Bezos switches context quickly between meetings, sorts out the 90% of tasks that are easy, and focuses his senior judgement on the small share that is hard, so he does not waste time on easy work.
Key points- Switches context between meetings on different topics without losing focus
- Sorts out the easy 90% quickly and saves effort for the critical slice
- The speaker says he is efficient because he does not waste time on easy work
The Ultimate Productivity Hack Is Focus
Read · fs.blog · 3 min · Issue #108
Shane Parrish's August 2022 Farnam Street post argues that focus is the key to productivity and success, and that focus means saying no.
Summary
Shane Parrish's August 2022 Farnam Street post argues that focus is the key to productivity and success, and that focus means saying no. He notes that Warren Buffett, Bill Gates and Jony Ive credit focus for their success. He describes focus as a muscle practiced daily, and says focused people often keep working on one idea for a long time even without visible results.
Laurie Santos on Discovering Your Signature Strengths
Watch · youtube.com · 6 min · Issue #107
A Big Think video from The Well, published July 2023, in which Laurie Santos argues that regularly using your signature strengths matters more for fulfillment than general character strengths.
Summary
A Big Think video from The Well, published July 2023, in which Laurie Santos argues that regularly using your signature strengths matters more for fulfillment than general character strengths. She draws on Aristotle, Seligman and Peterson's 24 character strengths and suggests identifying yours through a survey, then practicing them, including at work.
Laurie Santos on How to Be Happier
Watch · youtube.com · 8 min · Issue #105
Yale psychologist Laurie Santos, in a Big Think video from The Well series, argues that happiness is hard to reach because the brain is not wired for it.
Summary
Yale psychologist Laurie Santos, in a Big Think video from The Well series, argues that happiness is hard to reach because the brain is not wired for it. She recommends a set of practices she calls re-wirements, including prioritizing social connection, being other-oriented, practicing gratitude and exercising regularly. The video frames happiness as an ongoing practice, not a fixed state.
Stoicism: Become Undefeatable
Watch · youtube.com · 12 min · Issue #102
Aperture's April 2021 video presents Stoicism as a way to get through hard times, starting with common modern misconceptions about it.
Summary
Aperture's April 2021 video presents Stoicism as a way to get through hard times, starting with common modern misconceptions about it. It covers a 'voluntary discomfort' exercise for building resilience and the dichotomy of control as the philosophy's most important principle. It also covers the four cardinal virtues: wisdom, courage, temperance and justice.
Solve stuck problems by advising a friend
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #102
The technique is called self-distancing, and the speaker says it fixes a brain glitch
Summary
When stuck, ask what you would tell your best friend, because distance makes problems easier to solve.
The speaker describes self-distancing, a technique where you ask yourself what you would tell your best friend to do. People are good problem solvers but struggle with their own problems because they are too close to the details. The question lets you zoom out, see the big picture and find a solution when you cannot decide.
Key points- The technique is called self-distancing, and the speaker says it fixes a brain glitch
- Asking it zooms you out and shows the bigger picture
- The question is nine words: what would I tell my best friend to do?
Four excuses stop people keeping promises
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #101
Cites 25 people trying and 58 finishing a 21-day promise
Summary
The speaker claims four excuses stop people from keeping promises: pain, forgetting, lack of support, and self-talk.
The speaker cites a figure about people keeping a promise for 21 days, though the numbers in the clip are unclear. The speaker then lists four excuses that stop people: pain, forgetting, lack of support from a boss or family, and self-talk that calls the goal stupid. The speaker argues these excuses prevent people from becoming successful.
Key points- Cites 25 people trying and 58 finishing a 21-day promise
- Pain, including physical discomfort, is a reason to drop a promise
- Lack of support from a boss, kids or spouse is treated as an excuse
Three time rules make habits easier to build
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #101
Start a habit as a two-minute task, like putting on running shoes
Summary
Combining a 2-minute rule, a 2-day rule and a 2-year rule makes building habits and skills much easier.
The speaker presents the Triple-Two system, a set of three rules (2 minute, 2 day and 2 year) for building habits and skills. Using a 30-minute morning jog as the example, the habit is first reduced to a 2-minute task tied to a specific cue, such as putting on running shoes after brushing teeth. Once showing up is consistent, the duration is increased.
Key points- Start a habit as a two-minute task, like putting on running shoes
- Commit to only a two-minute jog for the first week or so
- Lengthen the habit to 30 minutes once showing up is consistent
Expectations shape performance, so seek supporters
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #95
Rosenthal and Jacobson's 1968 study found teacher expectations changed student performance
Summary
Expectations shape performance, so believe in your abilities and spend time with people who want to see you succeed.
The video explains the Pygmalion effect, which the speaker attributes to Harvard psychologist Robert Rosenthal in 1968. With principal Lenore Jacobson, Rosenthal studied how teacher expectations shaped student performance: higher expectations led to better results and lower ones to worse. The speaker says the effect also applies at work, at home and to self-expectations, and suggests shifting one's mindset and spending time with supportive people.
Key points- Rosenthal and Jacobson's 1968 study found teacher expectations changed student performance
- Low expectations of yourself can make you underperform, the speaker says
- Ask yourself whether you spend time with people who want to see you succeed
Clean sneakers by soaking in soapy hot water
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #94
Soak the shoes for about a day, then scrub them manually
Summary
Refresh sneakers by soaking them in hot water with baking soda and dish soap, then scrubbing and ironing out creases.
The speaker shows a routine for refreshing white sneakers, repeated every three to five months on pairs more than three years old. The shoes soak for about a day in hot water with baking soda and dish soap, are scrubbed by hand, and then creases are removed by ironing a wet towel over them. The speaker says the method works.
Key points- Soak the shoes for about a day, then scrub them manually
- Iron out creases with a wet towel, a TikTok trick the speaker says worked
- Repeat every three to five months to keep older sneakers looking new
Car mirrors reveal curb distance and lanes
Short · youtu.be · Issue #94
Brake when the mirror's lower edge meets the curb's upper edge, about 10 cm away
Summary
Car side mirrors hide parking aids: use the mirror edge to judge curb distance and the split mirror to decide on lane changes.
The video lists five uses for a car's rear-view mirrors. Aligning each mirror with a door handle widens the view along the car's sides. The lower edge of the left mirror, lined up with the curb, judges parking distance of about 10 cm. Other tips cover leaving a garage beside another car, spotting a parking space's corner, and splitting the mirror to judge lane changes.
Key points- Brake when the mirror's lower edge meets the curb's upper edge, about 10 cm away
- A car behind appearing in the right half of the split mirror makes a lane change safer
- A car in the left half is already very close, so never change lanes then
Life advice list from an 80-year-old
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #91
Choosing your life partner carefully brings 90% of happiness or misery
Summary
A friend's list of 50 points from an 80-year-old includes choosing a life partner carefully and never depriving someone of hope.
Per the post's description, actor Henry Cavill shares a list of 50 life points a friend sent him, which he rereads daily. Points cited include choosing a life partner carefully, since one decision brings about 90% of happiness or misery, never depriving someone of hope, telling loved ones you love them, and the claim that 80% of job success depends on dealing with people.
Key points- Choosing your life partner carefully brings 90% of happiness or misery
- Never deprive someone of hope, and never waste a chance to say you love them
- The list says 80% of job success depends on dealing with people
Giving up piano for a career brought regret
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #89
The partner had severe arthritis and gave up piano in his late twenties
Summary
A big-four partner told the speaker to follow his passion, after giving up piano for a career and regretting it.
Vin recounts doing work experience at a Big Four accounting firm, where he performed magic for staff after hours. A partner whose hand showed severe arthritis, and who had given up piano in his late twenties for his career, told him to pursue what he loved. Vin says the conversation helped his dad accept talents he had been afraid to acknowledge.
Key points- The partner had severe arthritis and gave up piano in his late twenties
- He said he would give it all up to have his youth again
- His message helped the speaker's father see his talent, the speaker says
Dark times make joy more meaningful
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #87
Flowers turn toward the sun, and people turn toward where they get energy
Summary
Energy rises and falls like the sun, and the speaker says dark times create the contrast that makes joy meaningful.
Psychologist David J.P. Phillips compares people to flowers that turn toward the sun for energy. People shift direction toward whatever gives them energy. When energy drops, as at sunset, it returns with the sunrise, and he argues that dark periods create the contrast that makes good times easier to appreciate. The clip cites no study.
Key points- Flowers turn toward the sun, and people turn toward where they get energy
- Energy fades like sunset, but returns like a sunrise, the speaker says
- Dark times are described as the contrast that creates the chance to enjoy life
Sometimes a worse situation beats a passable one
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #85
A friend stays in a job that is passable but not bad enough to act on
Summary
Sometimes a worse situation is better, since passable situations leave people comfortably numb and stuck.
The speaker describes a concept called the region beta paradox. Walking a mile is quicker than driving it, so a two-mile trip by car can beat a one-mile walk. The speaker applies this to tolerable situations, such as a passable job or relationship, arguing that a worse situation can push people to act, while an acceptable one leaves them comfortably numb.
Key points- A friend stays in a job that is passable but not bad enough to act on
- A relationship that is not abusive but not right keeps people comfortably numb
- The speaker argues worse situations galvanise people into doing something
Four quick fixes for a bad mood
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #84
Hate everyone: eat something
Summary
Four quick fixes for a bad mood: eat, sleep, shower, or go outside, depending on who you feel hates whom.
Shade Zahrai shares advice received long ago, a short list of simple fixes for bad moods. If you hate everyone, eat something. If everyone seems to hate you, go to sleep. If you hate yourself, take a shower. If everyone seems to hate everyone, go outside. The clip gives no further explanation.
Key points- Hate everyone: eat something
- Everyone hates you: go to sleep
- Hate yourself: have a shower, or go outside if everyone hates everyone
Visualize Habit: See What Small Habits Add Up To
Tool · visualizehabit.com · Issue #83
Visualize Habit is a free calculator by Marc Lou that shows what a daily habit adds up to over a year.
Summary
Visualize Habit is a free calculator by Marc Lou that shows what a daily habit adds up to over a year. For example, reading 15 minutes a day, seven days a week, is shown as about 18 books, or roughly 19 hours. The site argues that tiny habits produce big results, and the page claims 80% of New Year's resolutions fail.
Clarity matters more than motivation
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #80
Fill a notebook with ambitions, goals and the exact steps to take
Summary
Most people need clarity rather than motivation, so write down your ambitions and exact steps, then refine them over time.
The speaker says most people need clarity rather than motivation. The method is to fill a notebook with ambitions, goals and the exact steps to take, then refine it over time, since no first plan is perfect. The speaker's point is that a plan creates clarity, and clarity creates action.
Key points- Fill a notebook with ambitions, goals and the exact steps to take
- Refine the plan with time, since perfection is not human
- A plan creates clarity, and clarity creates action
Pain, uncertainty and constant work persist
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #80
Stutz shows Hill interviewing his therapist about tools that changed his life
Summary
Pain, uncertainty and constant work cannot be escaped, the speaker says, after watching Jonah Hill's documentary Stutz.
The speaker describes a Netflix documentary called Stutz, in which Jonah Hill's therapist names three unavoidable aspects of reality: pain, uncertainty and constant work. The speaker says reaching goals like a degree or a full client book does not remove them, so the question becomes what kind of constant work you want. The speaker suggests checking whether a goal is chosen for enjoyment or to avoid pain.
Key points- Stutz shows Hill interviewing his therapist about tools that changed his life
- Hill says pain, uncertainty and constant work are unavoidable realities
- The speaker realised reaching milestones would not remove those three realities
Stoic Discipline: Self-Control and Industriousness
Watch · youtube.com · 14 min · Issue #78
The Einzelgänger video explains that Stoics treated discipline as a virtue, alongside perseverance, endurance, high-mindedness and self-control.
Summary
The Einzelgänger video explains that Stoics treated discipline as a virtue, alongside perseverance, endurance, high-mindedness and self-control. It covers what self-discipline is, the power of self-control, and industriousness as a Stoic virtue, ending with a segment called 'the star in the sky'. The channel promotes its book Stoicism for Inner Peace.
Four reasons people finally change
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #76
Pain pushes people to change once it hurts enough
Summary
People change when they hurt enough, see enough, learn enough, or receive enough, the speaker says.
The speaker says people change in four situations: when they hurt enough that they have to, when they see enough that they are inspired to, when they learn enough that they want to, and when they receive enough that they are able to. The clip is presented as a short version of a longer leadership talk.
Key points- Pain pushes people to change once it hurts enough
- Inspiration moves people once they have seen enough
- Learning enough makes them want to change, and receiving enough makes them able
Dad, How Do I? (YouTube Channel)
Watch · youtube.com · Issue #74
The About page of the 'Dad, how do I?' YouTube channel describes how-to videos by a father, covering tasks such as tying a tie, shaving, changing a tire, cooking and managing money.
Summary
The About page of the 'Dad, how do I?' YouTube channel describes how-to videos by a father, covering tasks such as tying a tie, shaving, changing a tire, cooking and managing money. The stated mission is to encourage and empower people. Viewers can shop the creator's Amazon store, and a small share of purchases they would make anyway goes to support the channel.
Book Club: The Unfair Advantage by Ali Abdaal
Watch · youtube.com · 12 min · Issue #71
Ali Abdaal's first Book Club episode, published April 2020, discusses The Unfair Advantage by Ash Ali and Hasan Kubba.
Summary
Ali Abdaal's first Book Club episode, published April 2020, discusses The Unfair Advantage by Ash Ali and Hasan Kubba. The video explains a 'success equation' and the MILES framework for identifying your unfair advantages. It argues that everyone has them, even people who doubt it, and stresses a 'reality-growth mindset'.
Work fewer, more focused hours
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #71
Renting a Porsche showed the speaker the best feeling comes from the people beside you
Summary
Work fewer, more focused hours, since fifteen-hour days signal poor time management and tracking shows real output.
The speaker, a former workaholic, lists eleven lessons after a near burnout. Working 15 hours a day signals poor time management, and money should not be the only motivator, since the people around you matter more. Other points are comparing yourself with your past self, tracking your time, setting long-term goals with short steps, executing before planning, and dropping perfectionism.
Key points- Renting a Porsche showed the speaker the best feeling comes from the people beside you
- Five hours of focused work without phone or social apps beats fifteen distracted
- Compare yourself with yesterday's self, and celebrate small victories
Self-discipline comes from saying no
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #69
Vitamin N is learning to say no, which the speaker calls a vitamin
Summary
Self-discipline comes from learning to say no, setting your priorities and avoiding complaining, which the speaker calls vitamin N.
The speaker presents self-discipline as built from three factors. The first is what they call vitamin N, learning to say no. The second is setting priorities, and the third is avoiding complaining. The speaker adds that people without discipline end up in a kind of prison, while disciplined people are free.
Key points- Vitamin N is learning to say no, which the speaker calls a vitamin
- The other factors are setting your priorities right and avoiding complaining
- The speaker says the undisciplined are in prison while the disciplined are free
The 40 percent rule against quitting
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #69
The speaker attributes the 40 rule to Navy SEAL David Goggins
Summary
The 40 percent rule says that when you feel like quitting you are only at 40 percent of what you can achieve, so push further.
The speaker describes the 40 percent rule, attributed to Navy SEAL David Goggins, which holds that when you feel like quitting you have used only about 40 percent of your capacity. The speaker says the brain sets barriers to protect us from discomfort, so when you want to stop, hold on for 10 more minutes. The speaker suggests asking yourself each day how you can push further.
Key points- The speaker attributes the 40 rule to Navy SEAL David Goggins
- The brain sets limits through exhaustion or limiting beliefs to protect you
- Hold on for ten minutes longer, and ask how you can push further today
Most problems can be figured out
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #68
Rule one: all problems or dreams are figure-outable
Summary
All problems and dreams are figure-outable, unless they are laws of nature, and if you don't care enough, find something you do care about.
The speaker offers three rules. First, every problem or dream can be figured out. Second, a problem that cannot be solved is a fact of life, like death, taxes or gravity. Third, you may not care enough about a particular problem to solve it, which is fine, so find something you care about deeply and return to the first rule.
Key points- Rule one: all problems or dreams are figure-outable
- Rule two: a problem that isn't figure-outable is a fact of life, like gravity
- Rule three: if you don't care enough, find something you care deeply about
Resistance signals a dream worth chasing
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #68
The dream is like a flower opening, and resistance is the shadow it casts
Summary
The stronger the resistance you feel, the bigger the dream behind it, so resistance is a sign you should go ahead.
Steven Pressfield describes a rule he follows: the stronger the resistance to a task, the more important it is to do it. He compares a dream to a flower in sunlight that casts a shadow exactly proportional to its size, with resistance as the shadow. A strong feeling of resistance therefore signals a big dream worth pursuing despite the pain.
Key points- The dream is like a flower opening, and resistance is the shadow it casts
- A big dream casts a big shadow, so the resistance is proportionate
- The speaker says the more resistance you feel, the more certain you can be
Five Percent Better: Small Changes, Big Results
Read · fs.blog · Issue #67
Shane Parrish argues that dramatic self-improvement efforts usually fail and that small, compounding gains produce large results over time.
Summary
Shane Parrish argues that dramatic self-improvement efforts usually fail and that small, compounding gains produce large results over time. He uses a lathe as a model of gradual shaping and calculates that a 5% annual improvement roughly doubles wisdom in under 15 years and quadruples it in under 30. After a setback, he suggests identifying where you slipped, redoubling effort and continuing.
Strengths and weaknesses depend on context
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #65
The speaker is chronically disorganized, and once lost a business card from a potential client
Summary
There are no fixed strengths or weaknesses, only context, since every strength carries a liability and every weakness a strength.
Simon Sinek argues that strengths and weaknesses depend on context, and that every strength carries a liability while every weakness carries a strength. He gives his own chronic disorganization as an example: he lost a business card from a networking contact, then emailed him two weeks later and was hired, as the contact took his busyness as a sign of demand. Disorganization is a problem when others rely on him.
Key points- The speaker is chronically disorganized, and once lost a business card from a potential client
- Two weeks later he found the card and emailed, and the contact wanted to work with him more
- Disorganization hurts when others rely on you, so the answer depends on context
Systems beat goals for tiny daily habits
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #63
A 3-degree shift at takeoff sends a New York flight toward Tijuana instead of Los Angeles
Summary
Tiny daily habits compound, so focus on systems rather than goals, because progress feels invisible in its early valley.
The speaker uses a plane analogy from James Clear's Atomic Habits: a 3-degree change at takeoff sends a flight from New York far off course. Getting 1 percent better every day for a year compounds to about 37 times better, while 1 percent worse daily drops close to zero. The speaker argues that systems matter more than goals, since goals create all-or-nothing outcomes and motivation fades after results.
Key points- A 3-degree shift at takeoff sends a New York flight toward Tijuana instead of Los Angeles
- One percent better every day for a year compounds to 37 times better
- Goals set a direction, while systems make progress, and most people quit in the valley
Kelly McGonigal on Strengthening Willpower
Watch · youtube.com · Issue #61
A video in which Kelly McGonigal, a Stanford doctoral student in neurobiology, explains simple exercises for strengthening willpower.
Summary
A video in which Kelly McGonigal, a Stanford doctoral student in neurobiology, explains simple exercises for strengthening willpower.
Setbacks can be our greatest lessons
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #58
A young man's riding gift seems lucky until he breaks his leg and war spares him
Summary
Setbacks can become our greatest lessons, because good and bad news are both uncertain, as the monk who says 'we'll see' shows.
The speaker retells a parable about a gifted young rider whose fortunes swing after a fall and a war, while a monk repeatedly says we'll see. The speaker says their own career began in a period of lost passion, which turned out to be the best thing that happened to them. The takeaway is that some of life's hardest struggles teach the greatest lessons.
Key points- A young man's riding gift seems lucky until he breaks his leg and war spares him
- The monk answers 'we'll see' to every turn of fortune
- The speaker says his career began in pain and became the best thing that happened to him
Ask who you admire, not like
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #57
Liking or respecting someone lets you see yourself as an equal
Summary
Ask who you admire, not who you like or respect, because admiration means aspiring to become more like someone.
The speaker, passing on a homework task from a mentor, asks viewers to consider who they admire. The speaker argues that admire is heavier than like, respect or inspire, because it implies aspiring to be more like someone and feeling somewhat subordinate. Respecting someone, by contrast, is seen as relating to an equal.
Key points- Liking or respecting someone lets you see yourself as an equal
- Admiring someone makes you feel subordinate, because you aspire to be like them
- Lists of who you like or respect can be robust, but admiration is weightier
Decide your path, do not react to provocation
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #57
A yogi heard abuse on the street, then said he had a show and would return later
Summary
Don't react to provocation, because reacting hands control to others, while a person who decides his own path goes where he wants.
The speaker tells the story of a yogi who was verbally abused on a street and calmly replied that he had a show to attend and would return later. The point is that reacting hands control to other people, while a response is a deliberate choice of where to go. The speaker argues that people who react to every pressure rarely achieve what they want.
Key points- A yogi heard abuse on the street, then said he had a show and would return later
- If you react, others will steer you their way, and you will not achieve what you wish
- The speaker says the master of his destiny keeps his own direction regardless of others
How mindset shapes your life
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #55
A short video on how mindset affects life, using the milkshake study as an example.
Summary
A short video on how mindset affects life, using the milkshake study as an example.
Authenticity is resisting the urge to shape
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #50
For a fraction of a second your mind tells you not to be honest
Summary
Living authentically means resisting the split-second urge to shape how someone reacts before you speak honestly.
Alok Kanojia, a psychologist who works with streamers, says authenticity is decided in brief moments. For a fraction of a second the mind may suggest holding back an honest response, anticipating how the other person will react and adjusting behavior to get a particular reaction. The advice is not to give in to the impulse to shape someone else's behavior.
Key points- For a fraction of a second your mind tells you not to be honest
- Your mind adjusts behavior to create a particular reaction from the other person
- Don't give in to the impulse to shape someone else's behavior
Leadership is vision and persuasion, not management
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #50
Management is about setting goals and managing people to deliver them
Summary
Management sets goals and manages people to deliver them, while leadership is vision, and the leader's art is persuasion.
The speaker separates management from leadership. Management means setting a series of goals and directing people to deliver them, which is important but is not leadership. Leadership is about vision, sometimes a vision only the leader can see, and the leader's task is to persuade people to believe in it and help deliver it.
Key points- Management is about setting goals and managing people to deliver them
- Leadership is about vision, sometimes a vision only the leader can see
- The leader's art is persuading people to believe in the vision and help deliver it
Ten lessons worth learning early
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #47
Affording the monthly payment does not mean you can afford the item
Summary
The speaker lists ten lessons he wishes he had heard earlier, from avoiding financed purchases to not taking risks.
The speaker lists ten lessons said to be worth learning a decade earlier. They include not financing purchases you cannot really afford, accepting that life is not fair, looking after your body, and not relying on an employer. The list also covers investing early, avoiding alcohol, practicing positivity, and treating not taking risks as the biggest risk.
Key points- Affording the monthly payment does not mean you can afford the item
- An hourly wage is inefficient, and not using devices as an income source leaves you behind
- Not taking risk is the greatest risk, since retirees regret the dreams they did not pursue
Why You Can't Find Your Passion
Watch · youtube.com · 13 min · Issue #46
A 2021 video by Leon Hendrix arguing that people struggle to find their passion because they hold onto certain lies they have been told.
Summary
A 2021 video by Leon Hendrix arguing that people struggle to find their passion because they hold onto certain lies they have been told. He says years of trying different things, reading advice and introspection led him to this view.
Reframe self-talk to regain control
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #46
Test with the celebrity test: would a favorite celebrity's lunch invite make you find time?
Summary
Changing how you talk to yourself, like swapping 'I don't have time' for 'not a priority', returns control over your choices.
The speaker says small changes in self-talk, learned through therapy, podcasts and self-help books, have had a large effect. The main example replaces "I don't have time" with "I don't have the capacity right now to make it a priority." The speaker argues this moves the situation from lack of control to a choice the person owns, which makes clear what they actually want to do.
Key points- Test with the celebrity test: would a favorite celebrity's lunch invite make you find time?
- Saying 'not a priority' admits the choice and makes the situation fully yours
- Saying 'I don't have the capacity' replaces 'I don't have time' as an honest framing
Being yourself pays off over careers
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #44
After the boss left, the speaker was told the top job was a stretch at best
Summary
Being yourself pays off over a career, because the speaker missed a big promotion yet his next boss reinvigorated his career.
The speaker describes giving the company president a self-deprecating thank-you card after missing a big promotion. They had kept a cartoon for years, captioned "we could use an idiot," and rewrote the caption to show humility and creativity. Two years later, a new boss with more executive experience reinvigorated their career, and the speaker says to be yourself because careers bring unexpected turns.
Key points- After the boss left, the speaker was told the top job was a stretch at best
- He gave the president a cartoon card with a self-deprecating caption instead of the original
- Two years later, a new boss with ten more years of experience reinvigorated his career
A bulletin board for staying focused
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #44
Cards cover work, personal, travel, things to learn, creative projects, and friends and family
Summary
A bulletin board with category cards and an urgent-versus-important grid helps stay focused and lets low-priority tasks drop away.
The speaker shares a bulletin board system for staying focused, with cards for categories such as professional work, personal life, travel, things to learn, creative projects, and friends and family. Urgent items go in the top corner and important ones below, and anything that drops to the bottom corner is effectively dropped. The speaker suggests smaller cards for individual tasks.
Key points- Cards cover work, personal, travel, things to learn, creative projects, and friends and family
- Urgent items go in the top corner, important items below, and non-urgent items top left
- Smaller cards let you add individual tasks to the mix
Name the trigger to beat procrastination
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #43
Acknowledge the stress trigger, then interrupt the habit by counting from 5 to 1
Summary
Procrastination is a stress-triggered habit, so name the trigger, count down from five, and start with a five-minute task.
The speaker offers a fix for procrastination, which they define as avoiding tasks in reaction to stress. Notice the trigger, interrupt the habit by counting down from 5 to 1, and start with just five minutes of the task. If a task takes under two or three minutes, do it immediately. The speaker says these methods helped them prepare for the GMAT and get into business school.
Key points- Acknowledge the stress trigger, then interrupt the habit by counting from 5 to 1
- Start a new habit by doing one task for only five minutes
- If a task takes under two or three minutes, do it immediately
Related reading paths
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- Change careers well9
- Find your purpose8
- Focus and stop procrastinating10
- Start journaling7
- Make friends as an adult10